Stephen Colbert Quotes

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When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around in a quitter.

Tags: | Stephen Colbert,Ride,Want,New,

Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.

Tags: | Stephen Colbert,Dreams,Thankful,World,

I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am?

Tags: | Stephen Colbert,Inspirational,Time,Myself,

I have a mug that actually verifies that I'm the world's best dad. That's a mug. That's not me talking. You can't just buy those.

Tags: | Stephen Colbert,Best,World,Me,

Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.

Tags: | Stephen Colbert,Change,Thankful,World,

I liked comedy as a kid. When I was a kid, I'd go to sleep to, like, Bill Cosby albums every night. I'd listen to 'Bill Cosby Is A Very Funny Fellow... Right!' and 'Wonderfulness,' which are two of his most famous albums. Then the next night, I'd flip them over, 'cause it was the old stackable turntable.

Tags: | Stephen Colbert,Funny,Sleep,Night,

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.

Tags: | Stephen Colbert,Time,Law,Think,

In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes. Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter.

Tags: | Stephen Colbert,Age,Media,Yourself,

I liked comedy as a kid. When I was a kid, I'd go to sleep to, like, Bill Cosby albums every night. I'd listen to 'Bill Cosby Is A Very Funny Fellow... Right!' and 'Wonderfulness,' which are two of his most famous albums. Then the next night, I'd flip them over, 'cause it was the old stackable turntable.

Tags: | Stephen Colbert,Sleep,Night,Listen,

Stephen Colbert

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