Roseanne Barr Quotes

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I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all my stuff kind of, like, really got even more full blown and, you know, I got stage fright and, you know, I couldn't do stand-up anymore and let alone sing and all the other things.

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Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

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I do kabbalistic meditation. It's not unlike time travel: it can change the past and not just the future. You can look at what was lost and go beyond the grief of what was lost.

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I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool.

Tags: | Roseanne Barr,Goal,Farmer,Dinner,

When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.

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I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.

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I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny. And I discovered a lot of great writers that went on to do a lot of great shows like 'Seinfeld,' 'Friends,' you know, 'Three and a Half Men.'

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I do kabbalistic meditation. It's not unlike time travel: it can change the past and not just the future. You can look at what was lost and go beyond the grief of what was lost.

Tags: | Roseanne Barr,Change,Time,Travel,

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

Tags: | Roseanne Barr,War,World,Military,

Roseanne Barr

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