Rita Rudner Quotes

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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

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I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.

Tags: | Rita Rudner,Health,Good,Parents,

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

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Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

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I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

Tags: | Rita Rudner,Sunlight,Vegetarian,

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Tags: | Rita Rudner,Life,Love,Marriage,

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Tags: | Rita Rudner,Life,Want,Special,

Rita Rudner

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