Les Dawson Quotes

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My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.

Tags: | Les Dawson,Christmas,Mother-In-Law,

My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.

Tags: | Les Dawson,Change,Mother-In-Law,House,

The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.

Tags: | Les Dawson,Mother-In-Law,Centre,

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Tags: | Les Dawson,Living,Furniture,Trouble,

How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

Tags: | Les Dawson,Personal,You,How,

Mind you, I've always been musical... Mother used to sit me on her knee and I'd whisper, 'Mummy, Mummy, sing me a lullaby do,' and she'd say: 'Certainly my angel, my wee bundle of happiness, hold my beer while I fetch me banjo.'

Tags: | Les Dawson,Mother,Mind,Beer,

My mother-in-law said, 'One day I will dance on your grave.' I said 'I hope you do: I will be buried at sea.'

Tags: | Les Dawson,Sea,Dance,Day,

In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet.

Tags: | Les Dawson,Moon,Thought,Ride,

I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.

Tags: | Les Dawson,School,Lion,Friend,

Les Dawson

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