Jim Gaffigan Quotes

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Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.

Tags: | Jim Gaffigan,Good,People,Me,

As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.

Tags: | Jim Gaffigan,Parenting,Pain,Personality,

All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.

Tags: | Jim Gaffigan,Good,Want,Bad,

Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them: they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.

Tags: | Jim Gaffigan,Nature,Good,Fun,

I'm a big eater. I mean, a lot of my stand-up is about food, and you write about what you know, and that's the only thing I know. I don't know anything else.

Tags: | Jim Gaffigan,Know,Mean,Big,

Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.

Tags: | Jim Gaffigan,Point Of View,Point,View,

Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them: they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.

Tags: | Jim Gaffigan,Food,Good,Fun,

As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.

Tags: | Jim Gaffigan,Dad,Pain,Personality,

Manhattan's probably one of the bluest parts in the country, and Indiana's definitely one of the redder states. I have sympathy for both sides.

Tags: | Jim Gaffigan,Country,Sides,Manhattan,

Jim Gaffigan

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