Jen Kirkman Quotes

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Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.

Tags: | Jen Kirkman,Love,Community,College,

Don't make being a girl or a victim part of your stand-up act. If you encounter sexism in the business, don't bring it on stage: it's not funny.

Tags: | Jen Kirkman,Business,Girl,Victim,

I have this idyllic love life, but my mind just won't accept that. I would like to bring a new guy home every night. I try to make humor out of that situation.

Tags: | Jen Kirkman,Life,Love,Home,

Childfree women are actually great assets to the planet. Our carbon footprint is smaller than a mom's! And we have enough money to write checks to organizations that help kids get vaccinations, vitamins, and educations yet have plenty of free time to advise your daughter that one day she will regret piercing her lip.

Tags: | Jen Kirkman,Time,Money,Women,

I have memories of my grandfather Kirkman making mashed potatoes that were so good because they tasted like a bowl of butter. I love my mom's brownies. My favorite thing about both of those recipes is that someone else made them for me.

Tags: | Jen Kirkman,Love,Good,Memories,

Childfree women are actually great assets to the planet. Our carbon footprint is smaller than a mom's! And we have enough money to write checks to organizations that help kids get vaccinations, vitamins, and educations yet have plenty of free time to advise your daughter that one day she will regret piercing her lip.

Tags: | Jen Kirkman,Time,Women,Mom,

Couples without kids have each other, their friends, families, and Siri to talk to. It's not like they're quarantining themselves in an underground bunker, never to take a romantic stroll on the beach or attend a Morrissey concert ever again. They're just using birth control.

Tags: | Jen Kirkman,Beach,Control,Friends,

Parents talk a lot about how much strength and dedication it takes to raise a child. I think it also takes a lot of strength and dedication to carve out a life that doesn't seem normal to anyone else.

Tags: | Jen Kirkman,Life,Parents,Child,

Childfree women are actually great assets to the planet. Our carbon footprint is smaller than a mom's! And we have enough money to write checks to organizations that help kids get vaccinations, vitamins, and educations yet have plenty of free time to advise your daughter that one day she will regret piercing her lip.

Tags: | Jen Kirkman,Time,Money,Mom,

Jen Kirkman

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Jen Kirkman Comedy Videos & Articles | Funny Or Die
Jen Kirkman - Alchetron, The Free Social Encyclopedia
Jen Kirkman: I'm Gonna Die Alone (And I Feel Fine) Review ...
Comedian Jen Kirkman sort of hit reset on her life this past year ...
Jen Kirkman - Wikipedia

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