Fred Allen Quotes

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I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

Tags: | Fred Allen,Play,My Own,Own,

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats: then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

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I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

Tags: | Fred Allen,Tree,Know,Look,

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Tags: | Fred Allen,Live,Happen,Orange,

The first time I sang in the church choir: two hundred people changed their religion.

Tags: | Fred Allen,Time,Religion,People,

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen - Wikipedia
Fred Allen | American comedian | Britannica.com
Fred Allen - Wikipedia
Trivia | Fred Allen | Old Time Radio
File:Fred Allen 1937.JPG - Wikimedia Commons

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